I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
