I hate your face
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
