singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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