She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Enjoy the penises
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
