I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
