guys are not supposed to queef...right?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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