When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
