Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
