I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Randomize
