using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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