I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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