the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
