You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
