I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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