Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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