yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
