i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
