he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
