I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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