but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
i now understand why vodka
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
