Did you just see the Batmobile???
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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