dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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