i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
