Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
