Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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