I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
