sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
He has the fingertips of a God
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