I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
