I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
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