my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
