Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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