Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
