I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
