Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
