Taylor Swift is so right about you.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
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