I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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