Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The uberlube is also flammable
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
