if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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