i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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