There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
