If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
