awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Randomize
