It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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