you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
