dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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