he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
