Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Just pee around me
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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