Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
should my penis look like a turkey
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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