2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
