Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
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