Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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